On Disappointment

The initial impact of an unsuccessful CNZ Arts Grant.

Hamish Annan

Oct 18, 2024

Note: This article was first published 14 December 2023.

I had two days to submit an Arts Grants application.

I’d just returned from Melbourne Fringe.

And I was riddled with COVID.

In that time, I wrote one of the strongest Creative New Zealand Arts Grants funding applications I’d ever written.

I had an invitation to bring my work to Adelaide Fringe and attend the Fringe’s International Arts Marketplace, Honey Pot. CNZ strategic outcome, New Zealand arts gain international success, tick.

Further developing my award-winning, critically acclaimed performance of Access, I was going to facilitate a unique collaboration between my design and production team in New Zealand and a group of Australian designers, technicians, and videographers.

We were scheming new ways of connecting with audiences, getting access to cutting-edge technology, and planning to create a truly immersive, digitally integrated live experience. CNZ Arts Grants programme purpose, Innovation in New Zealand arts, tick.

I was genuinely thrilled with my efforts.

Cut to yesterday, Wednesday 13th December, when I, in fact, did not receive a Creative New Zealand Arts Grant.

I am sorry to let you know that your funding application for Arts Grants 2023/24 Round 1 has been unsuccessful. We know this is disappointing news and acknowledge the time and planning required for each application, but we unfortunately can’t support your application at this time. This was the final round of Arts Grants and the highest on record, with over 700 applications received and significant demand for the available funding. — well, fuck

And they’re right, I am disappointed.

Yes, creative arts funding is challenging.

And yes, it’s not getting any better.

There are many creatives, but there is not enough money to go around.

I know.

Trust me, I know.

So, am I sad or frustrated?

In all honesty, no.

I knew ahead of time how many applicants there were. I knew the pool of money was dwindling. I knew the risk, the luck, the chance involved in all of this.

So, really, I feel… empty.

Numb.

I’d prepared myself for the possibility of a bad outcome. But the uncertainty of what next remains.

With 50 square metres of wraparound LED screens, LightADL’s The Lab was going to be my Adelaide Fringe venue.

An immersive performance space featuring a large wraparound LED screen setup with multiple digital displays along the walls and pillars. — “A multi-functional, and multi-genre immersive performance space that supports art and culture while leading it in entirely new directions.” I mean, damn cool, right?

I say it was my venue because, at this point, I don’t know what to do.

When you already have over $5000 in funding and support from Adelaide Fringe, Arts South Australia, and even your venue is contributing a performance fee, it’s disappointing that Creative New Zealand couldn’t come to the table.

It’s a strange experience to be supported, championed, and encouraged to be innovative and take creative risks by a country that isn’t yours.

Something is broken.

So, what’s next?

Do I run a Boosted campaign?

Do I scrape my budget to the bone, cutting as many costs as possible so that self-funding doesn’t financially ruin me?

Do I pull out of Adelaide Fringe?

I don’t know.

Do I rob a bank? (Look, I’m keeping my options open.)

I’m thinking about these questions in real time as I type them.

I’m being creative.

P.S. If, dear reader, you have made it this far and happen to have a spare $22k lying around, please do get in touch. Wealthy philanthropists who aren’t too morally corrupt will also be considered. Thank you in advance xoxo

Practice & Process

Discussion about this post